I wasn’t that excited for the new Smash Bros but ended up getting a copy. I don’t actually care that much about most of the game, but I’ve always liked comparing characters between each new release and seeing who’s good, who I used to like that sucks now, and so on. After two and a half soul-crushing hours spent unlocking all the characters, here’s how I feel about the roster members I spent the most time with.

Please keep in mind that I don’t know that much about in-depth Smash. You won’t see me talking about frame data or whatever. If you wanted to rank me, I’d the person everyone hates in casual match-ups, but would easily get stomped out of the pools of a legit tournament. So High-Tier casual.

Whatever! Let’s go.


It’s 2018 and I’m maining Zelda. What a time to be alive.

Is it true that I picked Zelda because now she’s super fucking cute? Yes! Look at those shoes, holy shit! And she’s so expressive now, it’s great. Plus I love her new color schemes (I pick the Skyward Sword one myself). That’s fine though because Zelda’s actually super fun to play now. Din’s Fire doesn’t put you into free-fall in the air anymore, Farore’s Wind is easier to keep track of and has huge kill potential, and Nayru’s Love is fantastic for anyone trying to approach you as a “get the hecc off of me” button. Her new forward and back airs have sweet spots as satisfying as Captain Falcon’s glorious knee of justice. But all that said, it’s her Phantom buff that really puts her at the next level. The edge-guarding options are legit whack, and it can even kill at higher percents. If a good Zelda gets you knocked off the stage, good luck trying to get back on! Plus it lets you set up some absolutely dirty enders.


MY BOY! I’ve been playing Roy since the Melee days, and he’s never gotten his proper dues. “He’s just Marth but worse.” “His sweet spots are terrible.”

But a new game means a new engine, and it feels like this engine was built around Roy. In retrospect, honestly, it feels like Roy was an Ultimate character stuck in Smash 4. They finally fixed all his weird frame data and it shows. There’s no wonder they call Roy a lion because Ultimate Roy is a beast. His pressure is unreal, his damage is next level, and he has options for pretty much everything. This man is doing kill damage at 60% for some characters! I feel like a God! Literally the only thing holding him back is his mediocre recovery, but doing that will require you to get Roy off the platform first. And if he’s running towards you, that probably isn’t happening. It’s the Roy Boys’ time to shine!


Don’t let her cuteness fool you – Pichu is a nightmare to deal with. I would never call myself skilled at Smash Bros, but when I pick up Pichu, I certainly feel like it. She has combos for days, and they’re all so easy to pull off. Her thunder being able to spike is so strong for the edge game, and she can use it to kill at higher %s. PLUS she can combo into that! The Ultimate engine benefits faster characters, and with Pichu as one of the fastest in the game, I’d be scared of her if I saw her online.

There are a lot of Links in Smash Bros, but Young Link is the one to pick. While I mained Toon Link in Brawl, and Just Link in 64, neither can match Y!Link. That’s because he does what the other Links do, but like…50x faster. This little kid scurries around the stage like someone dumped a bunch of sugar in his Lon Lon Milk. He can combo his arrows into each other! His mix-ups are strong because of all of his projectile options, and he can throw out some ridiculous kills. Plus his down-air spike…so satisfying when you manage to land it.

I had a feeling I was going to like Inkling the minute I used her, and I was right. I tend to lean towards the speedier characters, and Inkling definitely fits that bill. She’s kind of like Y!Link in that she’s speedy and has a ton of options for different scenarios. Her ink takes a bit to get used to, and it can spell trouble for her if she’s run out, but she makes up for it in the damage that she can build up. Her roller is super fun to use, and canceling out of it for a smash attack after trapping somebody is truly revenge for all those who doubted the weapon in Splatoon.

If you don’t shout woomy after you take a stock you’re a cop though.

That’s everyone I’ve played the most so far, and who I’d put into my “team” if we were doing a 5v5 Squad Strike, I guess. There are a few others I put a bit of time into, but not enough to make any definitive judgments (Isabelle looks like she’ll be horrifying to fight against, however). Obviously, things could change, both in terms of characters I play and ones that seem good but end up being bad, or vice versa. Assuming I keep playing Ultimate, I’ll update you on anything new I find interesting!