This is making me go absolutely feral, so I’m sorry that this is going to be less a structured blog post and more me screaming into the void, but real talk everybody: what in the actual hell.

So in case you aren’t aware there’s an account on Twitter (and Instagram, and Soundcloud) called @seradotwav. The creepy facsimile of a human being you just clicked on is a League of Legends character created by Riot “The Only Thing We Love More Than Money is Sexually Harassing Our Employees” Games, and I hate her more than I can possibly describe with words in this blog post.

I don’t hate Seraphine personally (although I guess she uses the souls of dead people to power her music, so she’s suss either way) but it doesn’t matter if I do or don’t because Seraphine isn’t real. She’s not a real person. Now you might think “why do you hate Seraphine, Mint? She’s just a vocaloid/vtuber, those are all the rage these days!” Except she’s not really that, either. Vocaloids like Hatsune Miku work because they’re blank slates that you can project yourself onto. Miku and Co. don’t have personalities beyond “plays music” (and “Made Minecraft”). You, the person that uses her voicebank, instill your creative energy into her. You dress her up in cute outfits, you make the songs she sings, you provide the “lore,” so to speak. Vtubers, on the other hand, are played by people, with such a razor-thin line of kayfabe that one sneeze will break the illusion.

Seraphine isn’t a vtuber, she’s the product of a company that wants to capitalize on the hype of vtubing. She’s a doll propped up by a group of marketers that exists to get you to buy her $25 skin in League of Legends.

That alone is gross as hell, but……my God. Folks, I’ll just let the tweets speak for themselves.

…This broke my brain. I have to spell it out clearly to fully come to terms with it, so here goes:

A game studio known for copious accounts of sexual harassment is running a social media account roleplaying one of its fictional characters……and then asking people to send it well-wishing messages because it is is having a depressive episode. A depressive episode that is not real, because Seraphine is not real.

So this is where we’re at! Corportations are now manipulating lonely and/or desperate people into developing parasocial relationships with virtual characters so that they can get them to buy some micro transaction packs. This isn’t even that abnormal, when you think about it. Remember when SunnyD was on suicide watch? Remember when Mr. Peanut died at the Super Bowl? Marketers don’t care anymore. They’ve realized that they can get away with anything they want, because regulation isn’t real, and “basic moral decency” is not a phrase in their vocabulary. I’d be almost impressed that companies have found another way to profit off the bodies and pain of women if it weren’t so revolting.

So: did it work? No! Because she’s just a retooling of an existing League of Legends character so everyone’s pissed!

Great job Riot, you really nailed it lmfaooooo

That’s all for now! Where will you be when the apocalypse comes in the form of an anime girl? Let me know in the comments or @ me on Twitter @mintplaysthings! And if you like my writing, please consider donating to my Patreon or Ko-Fi. Thank you!