I feel embarrassed, even though I guess I shouldn’t.
My last post was 4 months ago. I was ready to start the year off with interesting content, had stuff planned.
Aaaand now it’s June.
I dunno, man. I think it’s a whole bunch of stuff. I’m in grad school. I’m tired all the time. I feel like my opinions on things aren’t very interesting.
But not only do these feel like excuses, they also feel like I’m just going through my “depressed mint greatest hits.” They’re not even interesting excuses anymore.
Part of it, most likely, is that I have trouble ramping back up when I fall off the saddle. It’s true when I don’t get a post out for a period of time, and it’s the same with how spotty my streaming has been. When I miss a self-imposed deadline, I just give up. One of my many flaws, lol.
On top of that, I’ve been really struggling with mortality sentience, and the realization that I’ll never do everything I want to do before I die. It’s an existential crises that I’m too young to have, I’m pretty sure, but it’s hounding me all the same.
But all that said, I can feel the yearning again. I may feel like my opinions don’t matter, but I think that writing about what I do helps me give meaning to it, whether it’s playing games or making things. That in turn helps to not let the existential dread sink in.
So here’s the post that gets me back on the saddle. Just to stop having that harrowing, “4 months ago” date haunt me. Here’s what I’m hoping to talk about in the next few weeks:
- What I’ve Been Playing
- Steam Deck Impressions
- Thoughts On PC Gaming
- Being a VTuber
It may be scuffed, short, or uninteresting. But it’ll be a start. And from there I have more ideas in mind. I just wanna start slow.
I’ve always said that I like making things for my friends to see. As usual, I hope they continue to enjoy what I make. And if we don’t know each other, we should change that! HMU on Twitter or Tumblr.